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  1. Published on: 04/08/2021 09:05 AMReported by: steve
    Learning how to be a good friend is a vital part of growing up, but the pandemic haskept many youngsters away from their peers so their social skills may havetaken a knock. Here, former primary school teacher Laura Steele of educationresource experts PlanBeereveals the four must-haves to make friendships flourish.


    Goodfriendships can have such a positive effect on a child’s life, providing themwith a sense of stability, inclusivity, and self-esteem. Children can learn somuch about the world, and discover who they are, through their interactionswith other people. So what are the essential skills for friendship?


    Empathy
    Empathyis when you understand the feelings of others, even though you might not sharethem. This is a crucial part of a successful friendship. Children who feel thattheir friends understand them, and are there to comfort and help them, will notonly feel a greater sense of well-being, but their friendship will besolidified too, as they know that they can trust and rely on each other.

    Youcan help your child to develop their empathy skills by discussing differentemotions - how they make them feel, and why. Encourage them to think about howcharacters in a book or a film are feeling, and what, if necessary, they coulddo to help them. Explain to older children that people might experience andreact to emotions differently, e.g. if some people are upset, they might cry,or become quiet and withdrawn, or even become angry.


    Talkingand listening
    Sometimes,knowing what to talk about, especially to someone they have just met, can bedifficult. Encourage children to ask questions to find out more about their newfriend (e.g. who is in their family, what their hobbies are, what sports theylike to do) and remember these answers, so that they can form the basis offuture topics of conversation, as well as ideas for activities they might dotogether. This helps children to quickly find things in common, which is a goodbasis for a successful friendship.

    Ifa child doesn’t feel listened to or heard in a friendship, it is unlikely to bea successful one. However, especially for younger children, it can be difficultto understand that a conversation is a ‘two-way street’, and that the more youlisten, the more you learn and understand about your friend. Make sure youmodel good listening skills for your child - giving them eye contact when theyare speaking to you, being attentive to what they say without interruption, andresponding appropriately.


    Sharingand compromising
    Inthe most successful friendships, the ‘give and take’ is balanced. Childrenlearn that if they give to others, they can get some of what they want too. Foryounger children, sharing can be a tricky skill to learn. Help your child tosee that sharing is good by explaining that this means everyone can have fun,point out sharing in others, and reward sharing with praise. For olderchildren, the skill of compromising is essential. When your child and theirfriend want different things, first let them talk about what they both want,and then encourage them to find a way to ‘meet in the middle’, so that both oftheir needs are being met. Children will also begin to learn that letting afriend ‘have their own way’ now means that in the future, they will also getthis opportunity, and vice versa.


    Managingdisagreements
    Childrendo not always know how to fix a ‘fall out’ within a friendship. Usually, one orboth children can end up feeling hurt or angry. It is important that (after acooling off period if necessary) children are encouraged to explain to eachother about how they are feeling, and why. It may just be a simplemisunderstanding which is solved there and then, or you may need to facilitatefurther discussions and offer possible solutions to the problem. Once you havehelped children through this process a few times, hopefully they will be ableto use this framework to manage future disagreements themselves.

    Ifyou are looking for some more structured but fun activities to help your KS1child learn about friendships, take at PlanBee's Being Kind to You and Me three-lesson pack.


    Nowthat you have some ideas on how to help your child develop and maintainfriendships, here are some fun activities that they can do outside togetherthis summer:

    ?Go on a picnic! Olderchildren could plan the day - choose the location, decide on the food (eithercreate a shopping list or cook/bake some items themselves), and pick theactivities/entertainment they would like - from relaxing and reading books toplaying frisbee or charades!
    ?Find a small plot in thegarden or allocate a few tubs for children to plant their own flowers orvegetables, then watch them grow! Once established, they could give the buddingplants as gifts, or even organise a plant stall on their street. Youngerchildren could be helped to make a fairy garden, or simply have fun with a ‘mudkitchen’!
    ?Organise a scavenger huntaround your local area, including a list of things to see or find. Childrencould record their finds on a simple tick list, or even take photos of eachobject. Take a look at PlanBee’s free I Spy… Outdoor ChallengeCards for some ready-togo scavenger hunts! Older children may wish to devise the hunt themselves,using clues or riddles too.
    ?Create an obstacle courseor hold a sports day in your garden or the local park. Children could organisethe timetable, choose the events, and even make some medals or awardcertificates!
    ?Get into some outdoor art!Younger children could use coloured chalks on the ground to create(impermanent) masterpieces, whilst older children could make art from nature,in the style of the sculptor Andy Goldsworthy. Rock painting (and then placingthe rocks elsewhere for others to find) is also a fun activity.

    ?Make a friendship book,either for a friend or with a friend, including photos, drawings, and memoriesof funny moments or things they have done together. Children could also createa memory box, using PlanBee’s free Friendship Memory BoxTemplate.
    ?Get creative and make ahandmade gift for a friend, e.g. a bookmark, a framed picture, a friendshipbracelet, or bake a cake.
    ?If children can’t see theirfriends at the moment, rather than send a text or email, they could write thema letter (use PlanBee’s free Friendship Letter template) or send a Friendship Award.



    Youcan also download these four great FREE PlanBee resources:

    ISpy...Outdoor Challenge Cards:
    https://planbee.com/products/i-spy-outdoor-challenge-cards


    FriendshipMemory Box Template: https://planbee.com/products/friendship-memory-box-template


    FriendshipLetter:
    https://planbee.com/products/friendship-letter-template


    FriendshipAward:
    https://planbee.com/products/friendship-award
     

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